The best way to disappear will require a combination of having the right mindset, preparation, changing daily habits, becoming the gray man, providing disinformation and also a long-term commitment.
So you have decided to disappear from the face of the earth in order not to be found again. Whatever the reason may be, you will be off on a right foot after reading this article.
I am going to give you some tips on preparation, some daily habits and also some advice that are more advanced which will make you untraceable.
Are you ready?Let’s get started.
1. Reasons for disappearing
There are many reasons as to why people want to disappear and all of them can be placed into two categories which include money and violence. It is important to remember while reading this article that I do not condone any illegal activities or anything that might get you into trouble with the authorities.
Let’s start with the first reason:
Domestic abuse/violence
Domestic abuse is by far the most common reason as to why an individual wants to disappear and become almost untraceable. Sometimes you will find yourself in a relationship that involves violence and dependency where you have reached your breaking point.
You cannot tolerate it anymore, and your only option is to get as far away as possible and never be found again by your ex/abuser. Your ex might also be the kind of person that will crawl through glass to get to you which gives you more reasons to disappear.
Owing money to the wrong people
Owing money to the bank or other licensed financial institutions is bad enough, but owing money to the wrong people is even worse. Desperate people that could not get a loan from a bank will sometimes do stupid things such as borrowing money from gang bosses or other underground organizations.
The problem with this approach is that these people will not go by the law to get their money. Breaking bones, blackmail or even taking your life are some of the possible options that they will use to get what they want. Sometimes it will also start at prostitution for attractive female victims.
When you think that it could not get any worse, these thugs will keep raising their interest rate to keep you bound to them. To disappearing and never be found again will seem like the only alternative to keep yourself safe.
You have a bounty on your head
This section can be related to the previous part where I talk about owing money to the wrong people. There are many reasons for having a bounty on your head. To have a bounty on your head means that an individual with enough resources is willing to pay for individuals skilled at finding people to either bring you in or take your life.
This problem gives you all the more reason to become invisible and also untraceable.
Personal reasons
Sometimes you want to have a breakaway from society or in other words; you are tired of the world and your current relationships. Some people also do not want to get locked into responsibilities and want to live the world at their own pace.
Sometimes you will also find celebrities that want to have more privacy. You can also find yourself in a situation where you have been in the spotlight for the wrong reasons, and now you want to get away from that humiliation.
2. Be emotionally prepared with the right mindset
Having the right mindset is very important because you need to prepare yourself emotionally as well. This journey will also take a lot of willpower, dedication, and discipline. If you fail at any of these, then you might as well give up.
Remain calm all the time
Even the stupidest mistake can blow your entire plan to live off the grid. This is the reason why you need to stay calm and focus all the time. You will need to get rid of old habits and adopt new ones to remain undetected.
This process takes conscious effort, and you also need to think three steps ahead. Never make decisions while you are sad, angry or anxious. You can also find yourself in situations where the police might pull you off the road or when someone might remember you from somewhere, and you need to respond.
Here is what you need to do:
- Just breathe. You can do this by breathing in as deep as you can and then hold your breath for 3-5 seconds. Then you can exhale the air out slowly with a humming sound which will release more NO from your bloodstream into your lungs. Repeat these two steps 3-5 times.
- Be prepared for anything. For this, you need to make up your “fake persona” or life story for when strangers ask out about you. There is nothing worse than mumbling words out of your mouth while trying not to look suspicious. You also need to be very specific when it comes to details. It can be very beneficial to take a book and write out your life story in full and then read it each night before you go to bed. For the life that you have left behind, you need to create a new one.
You must be willing to lose everything
If you want to have success at disappearing, then you must be willing to lose everything. What I mean by everything will include relationships, your job, hobbies, family and also a comfortable life. Breaking physical attachments is not enough as you also need to get rid of any emotional attachments.
What I would also recommend for anyone willing to disappear is to get rid of all of their photos and anything that will trigger the remembering of memories. All of these attachments will get in the way of your successful journey at disappearing.
How to say NO to temptation
This statement will include the contacting of a relative or friend, returning to old habits and also public exposure. There is also the temptation of entering into a new relationship with a stranger. Maintaining your invisibility is going to be the hardest part and falling into temptation will get you exposed and then all of your hard work and sacrifices will be for nothing.
Some tips to help you out:
The best way to get through temptation is to strengthen your willpower. The best way to enhance your willpower is to take care of your prefrontal cortex (PFC). This is the part of the brain that controls cognitive behavior that controls complex decision making and also social behavior. The best way to do this is by getting enough exercise, sleep and even getting in some proper nutrition.
- The average person needs at least 7-8 hours of sleep per day. I have met people that can survive on only 3-4 hours of sleep per day, but genetics play a huge role in that department.
- Regarding nutrition, I would recommend avoiding any processed food and include more green vegetables such as kale, broccoli, and collard greens. You can also add some animal protein, and the best source is going to be wild caught fish. Red meat is also good but in moderation.
- You need to exercise. This part is much easier than you think and your new lifestyle will come in handy. I am not recommending that you register at your nearest gym because this might get you exposed. The simplest way to exercise is to walk at least 10 000 steps a day while also increasing your heart rate. When you want to disappear, you need to keep moving and never stay in one place for too long. This lifestyle will require you to walk every day. If you do not get in enough walk, then some early morning exercise will do the trick. Early mornings are the best time as most people are still asleep.
- You can make a list of what you had to sacrifice. You can make a list on a piece of paper and keep it in your wallet. What is on this list will keep you motivated on what you had to sacrifice to live your current lifestyle.
- Avoid alcohol in public. It is going to be a terrible idea for you to visit pubs at night to catch a beer or two. Your level of exposure will be too high, and alcohol will not help at all. When was the last time you did something while you were drunk that you still regret to this day? If you are longing to drink away your sorrows, then lock yourself in your room where your actions will not get you exposed.
3. Preparing for the journey ahead of time
We all know that preparation is the key to success in almost any venture that you plan to take part in. The same can be said for those that want to disappear and live off the grid. It is important to note that there is not much that you can do to prepare yourself for when you have to leave in a hurry. It is essential to do everything that you can to buy some time to prepare yourself adequately.
People need to get used to you not being around
This one is huge, and I bet that most people will never even think about it. It will look very suspicious if you disappear all of a sudden without any warning signs. For instance not showing up to work, not having your weekly family visits, etc. What is even worse is if your relatives or friends file a missing person report with the police which is not ideal.Here is how to counter this from happening:
- Quit your job. You will have to quit your job at least two months before you pack all of your stuff and disappear from the face of the earth. Hopefully, you kept your career and private life separate which might complicate things even further.
- Slowly reduce the availability to your relatives and friends over two to three months. Instead of having contact with your relatives or friends each week or daily, you need to scale it down to once a month or every two weeks. If you are living with someone, then I suggest you separate as soon as possible. This way, if you move out of town, your friends will not notice that you are gone.
Only use cash
Paying for everything by cash is one of the fundamental rules that you need to comply for disappearing. The reason for this is that there is a transaction record for your card which will also indicate the exact time and place of the location where the transaction was made.
The best thing to do here is to draw all of the money in your bank account or at least enough for you to survive a couple of months. Make sure that you know your daily withdrawal limit and then try to draw money each day from your bank account until you have sufficient funds to work with.
Disconnect your virtual self
Most people living in modern time will have a physical self and also a virtual self which will represent your online identity. I refer to your social profiles such as that of Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google plus and more. If you are not willing to delete these accounts, then at least do not log into them after your planned escape.
The problem of social media is that they keep track of almost everything. Most people are familiar with the recent case against Facebook’s privacy issues. Other accounts may include email addresses, tv subscriptions and also other monthly subscriptions from other companies.
Change your physical appearance
People should not have the ability to recognize you by the way you look. You will need to change your style completely and also do some work on your facial appearance. You can quickly change the color of your hair, cut it short or grow it longer.
You can also grow a beard if you are a male. I do not believe that it is necessary to go for expensive facial surgeries as these methods outlined are more than enough. This part might also take time to achieve, so it is better to plan this thoroughly.
4. Changing your daily habits
The part about daily habits should become part of who you are. There are so many things to do and to remember, and it will be much easier if these habits become a part of who you are.
Make use of a prepaid cellphone
The great thing about using a prepaid cell phone is that you can discard (or cell) your number and phone each time you move to a new one. It is essential to continually change between numbers and phones at least once a month. The problem with contract phones is that it needs to be linked to a bank account for the debit order to go through each month. I know that in some states and countries, you need to take your proof of residence and ID document for when you want a new prepaid phone.
In some cases (depending on where you buy) you can skip this process and get the phone with a number without giving away your identity. It is also essential to remove the battery of your phone while traveling and not in use.
Only use cash
I already mentioned this in the preparing section, but I think it is still important to repeat this point. The reason why you want to use cash instead of your card is that you do not want to be tracked through your bank account. As a general rule, you should use cash for everything that you buy.
Clean up after yourself
This point is especially useful for when you stayed in a motel or guesthouse for a short period. What I mean by this is that all of the payment slips, books, and even your DNA and fingerprints should be removed entirely from the scene.
One tip that I can give is to sleep in a sleeping bag so that you do not leave a piece of hair behind. You should also wipe all of the smooth surfaces with a wet cloth to get rid of all the fingerprints. You must also have a small plastic bag dedicated for waste disposal in some of the bins alongside the street.
Make use small motels and retail shops
Try to avoid larger retail shops or motels. For instance, try not to use places such as Wallmart. Also, try not to use the most advertised motels as they are the first ones to be investigated. When a private detective has pinpointed the town of your location, then the first thing that he is going to do is to examine all of the motels and guesthouses to look for you. Most of the larger motels will also ask for your ID number or cell phone number so try to avoid them at all cost.
Only use online cafe shops
If you are in a situation where you need to use the internet, then it is vital only to use internet cafes. You should also remember not to log into your Google or Yahoo account as they can be easily tracked. This time it is also imperative to remember not to log into your social media profiles.
When searching for motels in a given town, you should never take the first one that appears on the first page of Google. Go down a couple of pages until you have found one that is more discreet.
Use public transport
If you want to do as described in this post, then you cannot drive with your vehicle. The reason for this is that your number plate can easily be tracked so I would avoid using your car as far as possible.
I would highly suggest you take a lift from someone or take public transport such as a bus or train. As long as you do not have to provide your ID, then you should be safe. You can also use taxi services as most of them uses cash and do not ask for an ID.
5. Becoming the gray man
So what is a gray man? A grey man is a person that blends into a crowd and does not draw much attention to themselves. Becoming a gray man can be very useful for if you do not want to be found.
Be familiar with the norm
The best way to stand out is to go to the beach wearing a suit which is something that you want to avoid. Firstly, you need to know what is the norm or baseline for a specific area. If most people walking on the beach are wearing a swimsuit, then you also need to wear one.
If you are at a hippie gathering, then you should dress as one. Another example is to wear a thobe while you are visiting Yemen and do not want to stand out. To be familiar with the norm, you need to know what the norm is. This trick is straightforward but effective.
Do not create any stimulus
The part about not creating any stimulus also go hand-in-hand with the norm. Some of the examples might include wearing bright colors, having a particular hairstyle, wearing a strong deodorant, etc. All of these will create unnecessary stimuli that should be avoided.
Work on your demeanor
What I mean by this is how you present yourself by your actions. We already discussed the clothes that you should wear and also stay away from, but now we are going to cover that which you are doing. I can refer this to the way you walk, your body language and also your posture. It is effortless to spot the difference between a military person and an average civilian. Military people walk with a lot of confidence with their head and chin up.
They are also very observant and you can see this by the way they look at their surroundings. The best way to change your demeanor and to be less obvious is by wearing sunglasses and not making too much eye contact and not to continually turn your head looking for danger. You should come forth as someone that is chill and not as a fugitive on the run.
6. Long-term commitment
To make it easier on yourself, you might want to change your name and identity. This strategy will help you to start a new life in a new location. But I should warn you only to do this when the heat on you has dropped. What I mean by this is if your pursuer has given up on his or her search for you.
Change your name and identification number
The only problem with starting afresh with a new identity is that someone can always reach out to the Social Security Administration office and request records on your old name to see if you changed your name to something new.
Most private investigators will not even request this information, but if they are patient enough, they might try their luck. To change this information, you need to have your birth certificate, ID, passport and social security card by hand. Then you need to visit one of the Social Security Administration offices in your state to file a name change request.
7. Provide as much disinformation as possible (Advanced)
This section is more advanced than the previous ones mentioned and is more geared towards individuals that do not want to be found. Welcome to the world of skip tracers. A skip tracer is an individual that specializes in finding people that do not want to be found. Most con men will provide the funds to hire a skip tracer to find someone. In this section, I am going to cover the methods that will confuse these skip tracers to the point where they will most likely give up.
This section is more advanced than the previous ones mentioned and is more geared towards individuals that do not want to be found. Welcome to the world of skip tracers. A skip tracer is an individual that specializes in finding people that do not want to be found. Most con men will provide the funds to hire a skip tracer to find someone. In this section, I am going to cover the methods that will confuse these skip tracers to the point where they will most likely give up.
There are three ways (hook, line and sinker) to create misinformation, and while the hook and line need to be used together, the sinker can be used separately. Let’s start with the hook:
The hook (The bait)
The hook is going to be the first and most obvious piece of information that will get your followers PI (personal investigator) or skip tracer on the move. The first thing you need to do is to create the hook. For this, you need to temporarily go to another town or city or make a phone call from a line that you know the skip tracer will investigate. Then you need to start off by renting a small apartment which in most cases will require a credit check.
One of the first things that a PI or skip tracer will do is to run a credit check to view the history of recent transactions. From there on, you will catch their interest with the “hook” and give them a starting point on a false lead. Now the PI will start their investigation in that specific town, but we are not finished yet as we still need to create the line for the hook.
The line (More false leads)
Now that you have your hook set, you can start by creating the line. Do you remember that I said that the hook must send them to a specific town or city?
Good.
Because now you need to create more false leads in that area to keep them busy. The purpose of the line is to generate a ton of misinformation in that area to keep them busy for longer. You can start the line by applying for line rental and then give the address of the apartment. You can also apply for a satellite service to make the line thicker.
Some companies that provide some useful services will also request the address of your employer. This is great because now you can use a company in that area as your employer. You can send a CV (with false information of course) or call the company (employer) from another number in a different town because the PI will now have to drive to the company to get more information. This action will then lead them to another place where they will start. You can also use Spoofcard which is an app that allows you to change your caller ID.
The purpose of the line is to create even more false connections in an area to “solidify” their search and make them think that they are closer to finding you.
The sinker (They will give up)
The sinker is optional but can add a ton of frustration to the person that is doing the searching. The purpose of the sinker is to create so much false information that the skip tracer will eventually give up. For this to work, you need to intentionally create a connection from your primary phone and then call up several banks to request a debit card.
Once you have the card, you can then make small purchases from that card in different towns or cities which will further confuse the PI. Remember that the purpose of the hook, line, and sinker is to suck as much money from the person that is paying the PI or skip tracer to find you. The more places the PI need to call and visit, the more money it will cost the person that wants your blood.
You should also keep in mind that some of these actions will also cost you some money, but luckily not as much as that of the searcher.
8. Professional help
Some people do not have the time or patience to do this on their own, and this is why I have this specific section on professional help in this article. Some people cannot afford to make stupid mistakes, and so they seek the advice of professionals to disappear.
I think it is an excellent time to introduce Frank Ahearn who is a skip tracer and also a privacy expert. He helps and teaches people to disappear in society to hide from dangerous people. He also helps to find people such as witnesses, scammers, biological family members, etc.
He also does public speaking and has written several books on the topic of disappearing for good.
Final word
Whatever the reason may be for your decision to disappear, I hope that this guide has given you some ideas on where to start. It does not need to be that complicated to do, but with the right discipline, you can succeed at it.
Corey says
Wow.
Dude this was thorough. I like the layout of your site, and I feel like you’ve disappeared before hahaha
What made you want to make a page like this? Do you know someone who’s disappeared, and if so, did they follow all of these as steps-or did they improvise along the way?
Steve says
Wow, you have put a ton of work into disappearing, I commend you on such a thorough article. I especially like the parts about using only cash and changing your habits. I was really interested to read about the different reasons for needing to disappear, domestic violence and owing money to the wrong people are great examples. Are you speaking from experience, or how did you think of writing about this topic? I am very intrigued to hear back from you.
Linda says
What in the world????????//
Why would someone even write this?
I find it very dangerous.
Looks like a lot f work was put into this content.
With Halloween coming up, I found it a bit scary yo.
I am worried now.
I don’t want suicidal looking for this online.
Why give ideas from such thing?
Lewis Miller says
This article was written for people that need to disappear because of domestic violence. It is not intended for convicts on the loose. You will find many instances where a person needs to do all this to stay safe from ex-lovers etc. Many private investigators also offer this service. This article also has nothing to do with suicide.
Martin says
There isn’t probably a person out there that didn’t fantasize about disappearing at least once in their lives.
Your thorough and highly informative article spells it all out, and it is scary. Suddenly you want to stay put and work things out.
I presume that the above information is widely available in criminal circles and they don’t rely on your article. For everybody else, who has valid reasons to disappear, it might be a lifesaver.
Lewis Miller says
That is why I created the article. For those individuals that do not have the time or money to seek out professional help. Help from a skip tracer will also proof to be helpful.
Scott Klosen says
How are you so good at this!
It almost makes me wonder if you’ve done this before…….
But in all seriousness great job and if I never need to just disappear I’ll be sure to follow your guide. Not sure why I need to disappear though I’m on pretty good terms with people I know, at least I think
Glenys says
Yikes! It’s it a scary thing that in today’s day and age we have to have a service like this? It really does say something about our society overall.
That said, this is a very thorough and well thought out article. If somebody really did need a service like this, this would be very helpful to them.
I can appreciate how the top two reasons for wanting to disappear revolve around money and violence (actual or fear based).
I agree that to be successful in this endeavour you will have to be prepared to give up everything – I mean everything and start over in life. Cash would be your best friend.
I never considered sleeping in a sleeping bag in a hotel room before. I can see how it would work nicely for these purposes though.
Thanks for sharing your obvious considerable expertise in this field.
Zachary says
wow,
Initially I thought this was a joke, but I’m really impressed with your research and knowledge. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this but funny enough, I know social media will be my downfall if I try to disappear. What If I need to contact someone in a discreet way so they won’t be able to pass along information or a PI won’t be able to investigate that lead. I’m just interested in how that will work, because I watch movies and their loved ones are alway being watched by cops and PI.
iDisappear says
The only real problem normal everyday people will have is access to enough cash to disappear forever.
blueberry1 says
what if im underaged though? like what if im going through domestic violence at home and need to leave how do i earn money?
Viljoen says
I think that it is better that you go to a domestic violence group in your area and seek help. Is there any family member that will help you?